Ticking

The fact that everyday I come to school to not only see my friends, but to actually learn, depresses me a bit. Of all the things I may dislike, it's the fading away of my youth I may absolutely hate. I breathe to live a life I want to live, and it's just saddening how I can't even go through a day without feeling ANY negative emotions, whether they're feelings of remorse or just stress. If you truly think about it, we all live each moment wishing for another moment to come to pass, and we never really do anything to make the current moment the best it can possibly be. I don't want to live each day wishing to wake up the next morning and see my friends and then wishing to hang out with them and thennnn wishing to go to a party and so on. I don't know if I'm making any sense to you, but it sounds just right to me. I mean, we're all just ticking circadian clocks, aren't we? Just ticking until night falls when it sets back to zero, and for what? To wake up in the morning and start all over, as if the day before has not been worthwhile? I don't regret the terrible things I have experienced or the rude statements I have said to a single person, and I don't ever wish to erase those memories and start anew. We're like wedding cakes. If you mess up the bottom layer, you can always cover it up with a second one and most likely it will end up looking better. Am I right? I guess I sound a little vague saying this since I believe in "cleansing the mind, body, and spirit through meditation", but I don't see that as "removing stress or negative thoughts". I see it as changing them, evolving them into more beautiful and appreciative things. I don't even know where I'm going with this. I just want to say how much time really does fly by and how I'm not going to let anything stop me from doing the best I can with a moment. I grew up with an uncle who always told me to be productive, and I honestly love it when he says that now because I just think of the many people I know who spend time just lying in bed not even THINKING, while I'm pondering on why this or how that and et cetera, et cetera. Why do we, in "boring" situations, just look at the clock and watch the second hand slowly inch it's way around the clock when we all cry thinking about how high school goes by so fast? Do something.

Forever a dreamer,
DAROCATP