Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness.

I'm one of those kids that have been hurt and disappointed time and time again. I can rise past the sun-spotted mountains and misty clouds and stand on top of the universe, arms crossed and chin up. But every single time, life as a bony hand - a bony hand creased by the inevitable folds of age, fingers jutting out like carrots from the dirt - would reach out to that heavenly body of mine... and push. Down down down, I'd fall, eyes wide and paralyzed, leaving behind dreams and expectations. I would crash into the black abyss, just floating through, too weak to rebel against the controlling current that dictated me back and forth, side to side, and too weak to tell the wind no every time a silent threat whistled through my ear. The thing is that each time my lifeless body would wash up on shore again and I gained consciousness of my reason to live, I'd get back up on my feet and look up at the stars from where I'd fallen, waiting for something wonderful to happen so I can rise up again.

Anyway, I'm in the mood to just sleep and dream forever right now. How amazing would that be to live in a fantasy world where anything and everything were possible.

Oh, how I hate being put down. It's terribly difficult to keep your confidence at a level ten when everyone is like a giant steel weight, continuously dropping on that little lever of yours to lower it. Ugh.