You know how

sometimes you can just be so bored, but you really wanna do something, but you don't know what? Yeah... Yeah. ._. Yeah. I have these super ugly bags under my eyes and my arms are so sore and I haven't eaten anything nutritious in days, but I REALLY want to run. Away from everything and everyone. To somewhere where nobody knows me or cares about my past. Florida. :D I should run all the way to Florida. I have all this pent up energy in me, but no will. I feel so restless. Something's definitely wrong with me. I miss you. I never used to regret. I hated regretting. Live life without regrets. But as of now, I'm on the borderline of regretting everything. It's just eating my insides, like termites swarming the wood of century-old coffins. I haven't blogged in so much, I feel like I have so much to say, and it's at the tip of my tongue, but I'm not allowed to say it. I should make a postcard and send it to postsecret. Sigh. I want everything to right again. I want to see you and hug you and bury my face in your shoulders and just break down and cry. (Heh, that was a polysyndeton; HAHAHAH I couldn't help it.) I want to tell you that I love you and I'm sorry for everything. But I can't, because no matter how much I WANT to, I know you have to do your own thing.

"Take your time I won't go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you"

"And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me"

"I can't get close if your not there
I can't get inside if there's no soul to bear
I can't fix you i can't save you
Its something you have to do"

-David Cook, Come Back To Me

"I know he`s living in hell
Every single day
And so I ask, oh God
Is there some way for me to take his place?
And when they say it`s all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away

But still you say
Will you think that you`re all alone
When no one`s there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary
Rest your head
I`m permanent
I`m permanent

Is the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you`ll never see me cry... "

-David Cook, Permanent

Sigh. Basically, I'm terrible at trying to pretend to be strong.